Garden Talk
by Kinoha
Summary: [OneShot] Set years after Buu. Goku helps ChiChi with her gardening and Goten and Gohan hear something they really didn't want to... Read and review, please! You'll be surprised... Muahahahaaa! I mean, eh, just read it okay?


**A/N:** I am finally getting back to writing mood, so watch out for updates to my other stories. They're definitely long overdue... (cringes) And this is supposed to be funny though I have no idea how funny this to you readers. Just an experimental piece for me, again. If it's crap say so and I will try ti improve it, okkey? Good! Read on!

**Disclaimer:** Noooooooo! This poor jobless student even after four years still doesn't own a crap... DBZ still belongs Akira Toriyama.

**Summary: **Goku helps ChiChi with her gardening and Gohan and Goten hear something they really didn't want to...

**Rating:** T just to be safe. Some dirty humour.

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The tantalizing smell of the summer flowers hung in the air as tender hands mended the flora species growing in the backyard of the Son household. ChiChi hummed to herself in happiness as she weeded her garden, content with the results of her hands. Gardening had always been close to her heart and she took great pride in her ability make everything bloom with beautiful serenity. Not a single wilted plant was in sight in her garden.

Suddenly she felt prickling in the small hairs of her neck and frowned. She usually felt that when---

" HIYA CHICHI!!"

" HYAAAGH!" she screamed and threw the small gardening shovel reflexively at the object of her startle.

" Oww... Chi... whaddya did that for?" A voice whined and ChiChi blinked as her eyes focused on the orange clad figure rubbing his face, flying flat on his back on the green grass.

" Ooops... hehee..." she blushed and sweatdropped at the same time and rushed to tend to her fallen husband. Goku gave little irked glare to her as she knelt beside him to look at the welt on his forehead the shovel had made. Just a red mark, nothing serious.

" Oh stop being a baby, Goku. It's just a minor mark: you're complete alright," she glared and swatted him gently on the arm.

" Alright? I come home and my wife tries to kill me with a gardening tool? If that's what you call alright..."

" Well, excuse me! I've told you hundred times not to Shunkan Idou (instant transmission) behind me! Sometime you'll scare someone so badly they'll need trauma therapy for the rest of their lives!" she huffed at him and Goku looked slightly sheepish. He sat up quickly and settled into his customary cross-legged position and rubbed his forehead and pouted accusingly at her. ChiChi sighed exasperatedly.

" Goku, you've had almost every single bone broken in your body and still kept fighting like nothing was wrong and now I felled you with a tiny shovel? Grow up, will ya!" she told him heatedly, this being one of the times she couldn't believe her tough husband was so easily 'beaten'.

" Hey, cut me some slack there! I am not battle high with load of adrenaline coursing in my veins at the moment! Besides, there Earths not in danger and theres no need for me to keep going..." Goku reasoned with her lightly and gave her a smile that told he had now forgiven her and wouldn't even remember the whole issue of being abused with a gardening tool. ChiChi couldn't help but raise an eyebrow at his explanation... and all these years everyone had thought---

" So whatcha doing, Chi?" he asked curiously.

" Just gardening: weeding, watering, the usual, y'know," ChiChi answered with a smile, shaking off her deep thoughts.

" Oh... well, can I help?" he asked wistfully, looking at her questioningly. ChiChi felt her jaw go slack. This day seemed to be full of surprises. He wanted to help her to take care of flowers? A slow, happy smile spread over her pretty face and Goku delighted in its radiance.

" Sure."

" Great! What do I do?"

" Well, for starters bring me the hose and that fertilizer bag, please?"

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Together the couple worked on the greenery with ChiChi's patient instructions. They really enjoyed spending time like this together, though mishaps happened quite frequently...

" Now Goku, mind that daisy. They're sensitive flowers so don't crush it, okay!Weed carefully around it," ChiChi instructed as as she sat on her calves next to Goku who was crouched over the flowerbed full of different kind of flowers and ChiChi's pride. Carefully plucking nasty plants ChiChi watched with a smile on her face. Goku really was helping her with gardening like he said he would. Sighing in content she began her own work and they chitchatted occasionally with each other.

" Grab that for me, will you? That wilted bud there on the roses?"

Goku nodded and extended his hand but his thick finger didn't seem to find the right one.

" No Goku. Not that!" ChiChi exclaimed as she saw him about to pluck perfectly healthy opening rosebud. He frowned at her. Her fingers were smaller and could better reach in the roses and not get scraped on the thorns.

" But it's so hard..." he indicated with his hands that he couldn't find the one she wanted him to dispose of.

" Let me grab it for you then," ChiChi sighed and reached into rosebushes and a moment later her pale hand came out unscratched and holding the wilted bud. Goku whistled. His hand would be covered in bloody scrapes if he were to plunge his hand in there fully.

" Wow, Chi! You're so good at this!" he complimented. Goku may have been an experienced warrior but gardening was completely new experience to him and he admired her skills for it. No wonder their backyard was in such good condition and abloom so brightly nearly always.

" Had a lot of practice you should know, " she purred humbly at his compliment.

" Uhu," Goku nodded and turned to pick up the shovel when his hand accidentally hit the watering can they had filled with fertilizing water. It fell and splashed ChiChi's legs with the slightly smelly water. She yelped at the cool water soaking her legs and stomach and glared at Goku who stared in shock for splashing her with fertilized water.

" Ah now you spilled it! I'm soaked in it and I'm totally wet!" She gestured furiously to her skirt and squeezed the water out of the hem.

" Oops, didn't mean to..." Goku srated to apologize but ChiChi waved him off. Well, the summer dries what summer soaks, she guessed, remembering the old adage of her old home village at Mt. Fry Pan. It's not like Goku to purposefully tease her like this.

" Whatever, now let me show you something. We need rope, hand me that?" she said squeezing the rest of the water off her skirt. Goku would have to make another water... Goku looked around and saw a tiny string on the grass near the gear they needed for tending the flowers. He recalled ChiChi saying something about supporting some flowers with stick and string.

" Alright!" he said jovially and handed the string and stick to her, guessing what she wanted to do. ChiChi rewarded him with a brilliant smile and showed him long, slightly drooping flower with a supporting stick next to it.

" Now tie it up!" Goku quickly knotted the shaft of the flower to the stick." Gah, not so tight! It' can't live like that!" she admonished and quickly resettled Goku's tyings.

Goku scratched the back of his head. "Ouch..." he guessed it would be horrible if someone tied a string around your neck too tight and you couldn't breath or drink or eat... Shaking her head she gave him a the green stick and pointed at another drooping flower. The wordless communication between them had always been quite good so she didn't need to waste words on explanation. Resuming her own task of raking the bed she saw a persistent root of a weed sticking still to her perfect flower bed. Eying it ferally she began pulling it out. It was really stubborn root...

" Stick it in," she ground out as she battled the vile root of weed for the dominion of the flowerbed.

" Here goes." Goku stuck the stick next to the flower and began tying another string to it, this time being gentle and careful with the plant.

" Hggnnn... raaaaghh..." _Stupid root, just give up! Aunt ChiChi's gonna throw you as fars as she can form her garden..._ she thought to herself.

" ChiChi?" Goku eyes her curiously.

" I can do this! Just concentrate on your own business!" she yelled. She had some pride in her gardening skill and she be damned if she let some root win her in the presence of her almost omnipotent husband. Gazing at her quite affectionately he really was enjoying their time together even if it was for gardening. At the moment she was amusing little creature battling root with her might.

" You know, ChiChi, we make a great team, " he pointed out, meaning it in many aspects. ChiChi blushed and with a snap the root gave in.

" YES! GYAH!" she hollered in victory but lost her balance and fell on her butt. Goku smirked, amused when the movement was caught in the corner of his eye. The support stick was falling?

" Hey the stick's falling!" he remarked and ChiChi glared at him.

" Well, push it deeper," she said, irate that he dared to be amused on her behalf. Goku did as she said, looking quite proudly at his handiwork.

" How's that? Good, eh?"

" Great job." ChiChi smiled in spite of herself. Goku could be proud of the most strangest of things, seemingly. " Now gimme that probing rod: I need to fish the all the dead water plants from the bottom of our pond. It's getting quite dirty and god know what kind of army of bacteria resides there..."

" Cool," Goku said and they left to flowerbed and started on the pond. In short their day was quite fun.

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" I can't believe you, Goten! Just wait until our parents hear about this...!" Gohan threatened as he dragged his whining little brother by ear to downstairs.

" But Gohan..." the thirteen-year-old begged. " it was all Trunks' idea! I had nothing to do with it! And that was an accident!"

Gohan halted in the kitchen and glared at Goten menacingly. He felt his parents' _ki_ just five meter away in the garden and was definitely going to pass Goten for them to give judgement." Accident? You wanted to spam entire nations e-mails addresses now that's a prank but surfing on porn pages?!"

" It just flashed there! I was trying to find more e-mail addresses! Don't tell mom and dad, just---"

" Besides it's crime to---

" _No Goku, not that!_" they suddenly heard their mother's voice begging from outside.

" What the..." the mouthed in unison.

" _But it's so hard...!_"

" _Well, let me grab it for you then._"

" _Oh wow, ChiChi you're so good at this!_"

" _Had a lot of practice as you should know_."

" _Uhn._"

" _Ah, now you spilled it! I'm soaked in it and totally wet!_"

" _Oops._"

" _Whatever, now let me show you something. We need a rope._"

Gohan and Goten looked at each other, pale. " A rope...?" they whispered in unison, doubting their ears. Their parents were...

" _Alright!_"

" _Now tie it up! Ah, not so tight: it can't breath!_"

" _Ouch.._."

" Tie a what?!" Gohan almost exclaimed, looking green. Goten's eyes were widened in shock and he looked like a drowning goldfish. Both had very disturbing images running through their heads.

"_Now stick it in._"

" _Here goes!_"

" _Hggnnn... raaaaghh..._"

" _ChiChi?_"

" _I can do this! Just concentrate on your own business!_"

" _You know, ChiChi, we make a great team._"

" _YES! GYAH!_"

" _Hey the stick's falling!_"

" _Well, push it deeper!_"

Gohan and Goten both were flaming red and couldn't believe their ears!

" _How's that? Good, eh?_"

" _Good job. Now gimme that probing stick..._"

" HYAAAAGH!!" The Son brothers screamed in unison and rushed out of the house (through front door) and ran into the forest as fast as their legs could carry them. It would take some time before they dared to set another foot into their home...

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" What it is, Goku?" ChiChi asked seeing Goku's disgruntled expression.

" I dunno... I sense Gohan and Goten running for their lives in the forests. What would cause them to do that, I wonder...?"

ChiChi shrugged. " Heaven knows... may they're having a running competition?"

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THE END!

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**A/N: ** Now who says gardening is innocent chore? Praise or bash, shoot! BANG! Ducks. WTF? I didn't mean like that!


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